Sunday, January 18, 2009

The myth of “Small Business”

 

 Manufacture

I don’t know how many times I’ve yelled at the TV when the topic has been “Small Business”. I know it’s not a good sign of mental stability when you talk to your TV but at least I don’t throw things at it or shoot it.

Here’s a prime example that dates back to 2001.

“In a ceremony at the Defense Information Systems Agency today, representatives of the Department of Defense and a consortium of three businesses officially signed the largest combined small business set-aside acquisition in the history of the federal government. “  (emphasis is mine)

 

I checked out the companies that were awarded the contracts and they were all $50 Million a year “Small Businesses”

 

“The maximum cumulative face value for all three contracts for satellite transmission services, awarded last evening, is anticipated to be $2.196 billion over the life of the contracts, if all options are exercised. “   (I did it again)

Cognitive Dissonance anyone?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m a Schizophrenic and so am I

 

SplitPerson 

 

Today I am going to become two people. The Twittering, Commenting, Ranting, and www.Bookofjoe.com regular is going to be one of them. The other is going to be more disciplined, refined, knowledgeable  and businesslike. 

“Why?”, you ask.

“Several reasons”, he answers.

I had a conversation (actually a Twitter,semi-literate-half-a-sentence-abbreviated exchange) with a very good writer who’s focus is Micro Businesses.  This is a topic for a rant as I believe it’s a subject the government and the media don’t understand and consistently misrepresent. (See I almost went there)

 

She and I talked about how much personal info you want to make readily available to the public.  She was worried that people would consider her a “nut”.

I understood her concern as she was dealing with important issues and important people in the political world.  She has a good reputation to worry about. I understood, but have never had that problem.  Until now.

The new, improved, other me is going to be the spokesman for my web-business in a new social media network.  I’m going to be informative, serious and challenging. If I’m good enough I’m going to get a little respect. Yea, Right.  OK, let me change that to “where I’m going to TRY to get a little respect” 

Ol’ Ray-Bud, the guy whose picture adorns most of my identities will always be here but he is now undergoing a name change to be just plain Bud.  Speaking of no respect, he looks like the epitome of Rodney Dangerfield. 

Ray is going to have to find a more appropriate image.

So I’m working on an image makeover. (Maybe a good idea for a TV show; Extreme Image Makeover)

Do I use a real photo of myself? A younger one like Joe? An avatar like…..  naw, no avatars.  I don’t know.

I could do what I did years ago and create a new personality.

I worked as an art director for a small computer consulting firm that produced not only software but the training materials that went with them. That was my department.  The art dept. diverted any and all sales calls by telling the caller that the person they had to talk to was the big boss - Flash Corduroy.

 

Aerial Photographer

Of course, Flash was always out of the office on assignment somewhere exotic and totally unavailable.  We used him extensively.

Personally, I really don’t want you to see my wedding pictures or my family. I do want you to be amused by other things I may do or create. I really want you to like Bud and laugh at Flash.  So lets keep it that way, OK?

Thanks,

Ray, Bud and Flash.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Lunch Partner Today





Just hanging out on a table today. The squirrels are always around but I've never seen him before.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Customer Service


Get ready for a rant, OK?




I have an online business and customer service is important to me. We don't use a complicated voice mail system, just an answering machine when we're not there. We really try to get back to our callers soon but.... we can't call people on the west coast because it's three hours earlier and I've woken them up before. Man, do they get grumpy.

Emails are answered immediately in the morning or sometimes on the weekends we will do it from home. (Gotta love LogMeIn.com)

I answer the phone occasionally and deal with an issue or take an order. Generally it's enjoyable. We've got some great customers. I treat them like gold lately because I've come to the conclusion that most of the companies I deal with - hate me!

To the phone company, the cell carrier, the post office and especially the credit card company I'm the enemy! In fact I'm proud to have the title of "dead beat" to the credit card company because I pay them off every month. Awwwwwww.

So here is our customer service page dealing with returns:

Returns

Unopened products may be returned for the full purchase price. We do not have a restocking fee. Please let us know within 10 days. If we made a mistake on your order we will do our utmost to make it right for you. If it isn't our mistake you will have to bear the cost of shipping in both directions. Just give us a call to work it out.

One little wrinkle.. We will have to charge for shipping any order we shipped free that was returned for a full refund. (Just what it cost us initially to ship to you.)


Now here's a company I just ordered from that looks like the owners aren't businessmen, they're probably lawyers.



Please note that you may no longer cancel your order? Really? I paid through Google Checkout and they might. What about my credit card company?

To back up this phony claim check out the whole invoice. It's unbelievable.

ANTOnline Order Invoice - Order #1793141906

1 message

support@antonline.com Sat, Jan 3, 2009 at 9:20 PM

To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ANTOnline.com

INVOICE


Order #:

1793141906

Order Date:

01/03/2009 13:20:03


Status: Charged - Congratulations, your credit/debit card has been successfully charged. Please note that you may no longer cancel your order.

Bill To

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ship To

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Order Summary

Qty Product Description Price

2 GE/SANYO eneloop 4 Pack AA NiMH Pre-Charged Rechargeable Batteries 12.09

Subtotal $24.18

Tax $0.00

Shipping (Ground) $7.99

Order Total $32.17


Terms and Conditions (as agreed to by customer at time of sale)

Atlanta Network Technologies, Inc. - Terms and Conditions of Sale

PLEASE READ THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF SALE VERY CAREFULLY.


THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF SALE ARE LIMITED TO THOSE CONTAINED HEREIN. ANY ADDITIONAL OR DIFFERENT TERMS IN ANY FORMS DELIVERED BY CUSTOMER ARE HEREBY DEEMED TO BE MATERIAL ALTERATIONS AND NOTICE OF OBJECTION TO THEM AND REJECTION OF THEM IS HEREBY GIVEN.


BY ACCEPTING DELIVERY OF THE PRODUCTS AND SERVICES DESCRIBED IN Atlanta Network Technologies's INVOICE OR OTHER Atlanta Network Technologies DOCUMENTATION, CUSTOMER AGREES TO BE BOUND BY AND ACCEPTS THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF SALE UNLESS CUSTOMER AND Atlanta Network Technologies HAVE SIGNED A SEPARATE AGREEMENT, IN WHICH CASE THE SEPARATE AGREEMENT WILL GOVERN.


Important Information About These Terms and Conditions of Sale


These terms and conditions of sale constitute a binding contract between Customer and Atlanta Network Technologies. Customer accepts these terms and conditions of sale by making a purchase, placing an order or otherwise shopping on Atlanta Network Technologies's Website (the "Site"). These terms and conditions of sale are subject to change without prior notice, except that the terms and conditions of sale posted on the Site at the time Customer initially places or modifies an order will govern the order in question.


These terms and conditions of sale constitute the entire agreement between Customer and Atlanta Network Technologies relating to the terms and conditions of sale of products and services on the Site. Customer consents to receiving electronic records, which may be provided via a Web browser or e-mail application connected to the Internet; individual consumers may withdraw consent to receiving electronic records or have the record provided in non-electronic form by contacting Atlanta Network Technologies at the address provided below.


Customer may issue a purchase order for administrative purposes only. Additional or different terms and conditions contained in any such purchase order will be null and void. Customer agrees that the terms and conditions of sale contained herein and in Atlanta Network Technologies’s invoice or other documentation will control. No course of prior dealings between the parties and no usage of trade will be relevant to determine the meaning of these terms and conditions of sale or any purchase order or invoice related thereto.


Governing Law


THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF SALE AND ANY SALE HEREUNDER WILL BE GOVERNED BY THE LAWS OF THE STATE OF GEORGIA, WITHOUT REGARD TO CONFLICTS OF LAWS RULES. ANY ARBITRATION, ENFORCEMENT OF AN ARBITRATION OR LITIGATION WILL BE BROUGHT IN FULTON COUNTY, GEORGIA AND CUSTOMER CONSENTS TO THE JURISDICTION OF THE FEDERAL AND STATE COURTS LOCATED IN FULTON COUNTY, GEORGIA AND SUBMITS TO THE JURISDICTION THEREOF AND WAIVES THE RIGHT TO CHANGE VENUE. CUSTOMER FURTHER CONSENTS TO THE EXERCISE OF PERSONAL JURISDICTION BY ANY SUCH COURT WITH RESPECT TO ANY SUCH PROCEEDING.


Risk of Loss


If Customer provides Atlanta Network Technologies with Customer’s carrier account number or selects a carrier other than a carrier that regularly ships for Atlanta Network Technologies, title to products and risk of loss or damage during shipment passes from Atlanta Network Technologies to Customer upon shipment from Atlanta Network Technologies’s facility. For all other shipments, title to products and risk of loss or damage during shipment passes from Atlanta Network Technologies to Customer upon receipt by Customer. Title to software will remain with the applicable licensor(s). Atlanta Network Technologies retains a security interest in the products until payment in full is received. Customer will be responsible for all shipping and related charges.


Export Sales


If this transaction involves an export under the Export Administration Regulations, the commodities, technology and/or software sold or distributed under these terms and conditions of sale exported from the United States by Atlanta Network Technologies were exported in accordance with the Export Administration Regulations. Diversion, use, export or re-export contrary to United States law is prohibited. The commodities, technology and/or software sold or distributed under these terms and conditions of sale may not be exported or re-exported to Cuba, Iran, Iraq, Libya, Sudan, North Korea or Syria or to entities and persons that are ineligible under United States law to receive United States commodities, technology and/or software. In addition, manufacturers' warranties for exported products may vary or may be null and void for products exported outside the United States.


Warranties


Customer understands that Atlanta Network Technologies is not the manufacturer of the products purchased by Customer hereunder and the only warranties offered are those of the manufacturer, not Atlanta Network Technologies. In purchasing the products, Customer is relying on the manufacturer’s specifications only and is not relying on any statements, specifications in brochures, photographs or other illustrations representing the products that may be provided by Atlanta Network Technologies. In connection with services, neither affiliates of Atlanta Network Technologies nor third party service providers are agents of Atlanta Network Technologies and Atlanta Network Technologies has no obligation or liability arising from any services performed by or any warranty, if any, made by, such service providers. Atlanta Network Technologies AND ITS AFFILIATES HEREBY EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, RELATED TO PRODUCTS SOLD OR SERVICES PROVIDED BY THIRD PARTIES OR AFFILIATES OF Atlanta Network Technologies, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, ANY WARRANTY OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. THIS DISCLAIMER DOES NOT AFFECT THE TERMS OF THE MANUFACTURER'S WARRANTY, IF ANY.


Pricing Information; Availability Disclaimer


All pricing is subject to change. Atlanta Network Technologies reserves the right to make adjustments to pricing, products and service offerings for reasons including, but not limited to, changing market conditions, product discontinuation, product unavailability, manufacturer price changes and errors in advertisements. All orders are subject to product availability. Therefore, Atlanta Network Technologies cannot guarantee that it will be able to fulfill Customer’s orders.


Limitation of Liability


NEITHER Atlanta Network Technologies NOR ITS AFFILIATES WILL BE LIABLE FOR LOST PROFITS, LOSS OF BUSINESS OR OTHER CONSEQUENTIAL, SPECIAL, INDIRECT OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES, OR FOR ANY CLAIM BY ANY THIRD PARTY. NEITHER Atlanta Network Technologies NOR ITS AFFILIATES WILL BE LIABLE FOR PRODUCTS NOT BEING AVAILABLE FOR USE OR FOR LOST OR CORRUPTED DATA OR SOFTWARE OR THE PROVISION OF SERVICES BY THIRD PARTIES. CUSTOMER AGREES THAT FOR ANY LIABILITY RELATED TO THE PURCHASE OF PRODUCTS OR SERVICES PROVIDED DIRECTLY BY Atlanta Network Technologies OR ITS AFFILIATES, NEITHER Atlanta Network Technologies NOR ITS AFFILIATES ARE LIABLE OR RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY AMOUNT OF DAMAGES ABOVE THE DOLLAR AMOUNT PAID BY CUSTOMER FOR THE PRODUCT(S) OR SERVICE(S) GIVING RISE TO THE CLAIM.


Atlanta Network Technologies will not be responsible for any delays in delivery which result from any circumstances beyond its control, including without limitation, product unavailability, carrier delays, delays due to fire, severe weather conditions, failure of power, labor problems, acts of war, terrorism, general insurrection, acts of God or acts of any government or agency.


Third Party Services


Customer acknowledges and agrees that, in some instances, Atlanta Network Technologies, Atlanta Network Technologies Technology Services, Inc., and their affiliates are resellers of services and are not the provider of those services. In those cases, the third party service provider is the only party responsible for providing services to Customer. In those cases, Customer will look solely to the third party service provider for any loss, claims or damages arising from or relating to the purchase or provision of such services. Customer hereby releases Atlanta Network Technologies, Atlanta Network Technologies Technology Services, Inc. and their affiliates from any and all claims arising from or relating to the purchase or provision of any such services by third party service providers. Services may be subject to tax. All amounts, including taxes, associated with third party services are being collected by Atlanta Network Technologies on behalf of Atlanta Network Technologies Technology Services, Inc. solely in the capacity as an independent sales agent.


Arbitration


Any claim, dispute, or controversy (whether in contract, tort or otherwise, whether preexisting, present or future, and including statutory, common law, intentional tort and equitable claims) arising from or relating to the products or services sold pursuant to these terms and conditions of sale, the interpretation or application of these terms and conditions of sale or the breach, termination or validity thereof, the relationships which result from these terms and conditions of sale (including, to the full extent permitted by applicable law, relationships with third parties who are not signatories hereto), or Atlanta Network Technologies's advertising and marketing (collectively, a “Claim”) WILL BE RESOLVED, UPON THE ELECTION OF Atlanta Network Technologies, CUSTOMER OR THIRD PARTIES INVOLVED, EXCLUSIVELY AND FINALLY BY BINDING ARBITRATION. If arbitration is chosen, it will be conducted pursuant to the Rules of the American Arbitration Association, with offices in Atlanta, GEORGIA. If arbitration is chosen by any party with respect to a Claim, neither Atlanta Network Technologies nor Customer will have the right to litigate that Claim in court or to have a jury trial on that Claim or to engage in pre-arbitration discovery, except as provided for in the applicable arbitration rules or by agreement of the parties. Further, Customer will not have the right to participate as a representative or member of any class of claimants pertaining to any Claim. Notwithstanding any choice of law provision included in these terms and conditions of sale, this arbitration agreement is subject to the Federal Arbitration Act (9 U.S.C. §§ 1-16). The arbitration will take place in Atlanta, GEORGIA. Any court having jurisdiction may enter judgment on the award rendered by the arbitrator(s). Each party will bear its own cost of any legal representation, discovery or research required to complete arbitration. The existence or results of any arbitration will be treated as confidential. Notwithstanding anything to the contrary contained herein, all matters pertaining to the collection of amounts due to Atlanta Network Technologies arising out of sales hereunder will be exclusively litigated in court rather than through arbitration.


Orders; Payment Terms; Interest; Taxes


Orders are not binding upon Atlanta Network Technologies unless accepted (credit card transactions processed on the site DO NOT constitute acceptance of an order.) by Atlanta Network Technologies and we reserve the right to cancel any order for any reason. Terms of payment are within Atlanta Network Technologies's sole discretion. Invoices are due and payable within the time period specified on the invoice, measured from the date of invoice. Atlanta Network Technologies may invoice parts of an order separately. Customer agrees to pay interest on all past-due sums at the lower of one and one-half percent (1 1/2%) per month or at the highest rate allowed by law. Customer is responsible for, and will indemnify and hold Atlanta Network Technologies harmless from, any applicable sales, use or other taxes associated with the order. Customer must claim any exemption from tax at the time of purchase and provide the necessary supporting documentation. Any sales, use or other applicable tax is based on the location to which the order is shipped. In the event of a payment default, Customer will be responsible for all of Atlanta Network Technologies’s costs of collection, including court costs, filing fees and attorney’s fees. All payments by Paypal or wire transfer must be completed within 24 hours of sale. If an order is not paid within the 24 hour window the order will become null and void.


Return Policies


Each product is fully guaranteed by the manufacturer (unless specifically stated otherwise). The complete warranty is included with the product. The manufacturer's warranty covers repair or replacement of defective parts, subject to the conditions set forth. On most items, Antonline offers an exclusive 30 day return for refund policy.


The following products are not accepted for return and must be repaired by manufacturers' authorized service centers: TVs and monitors, computer products, laser printers, scanners, fax and other devices with delicate optics. To locate a service center near you, please refer to your product manual. Unused software may be returned, if unopened, with some exceptions. Defective software, games, CDs and DVDs may be returned for the same title only. Some software programs, consumables and media are not returnable to Antonline under any circumstance and must be returned to the manufacturer. Stereo and electronic equipment should be bench-tested prior to installation (units that have been installed, scratched, or abused will not be accepted for return or credit).


If you are not satisfied with your purchase, you may return it for refund (excluding shipping and handling charges) within 30 days, subject to a return authorization from Antonline (see exceptions above).


Returns are subject to a restocking fee, depending on the condition of goods and packaging material; and cost incurred in restocking.


All returns require a Return Authorization (RMA) number, which you can obtain online at http://www.antonline.com/request_rma.php. This is the only source of Return Authorization. Please note that an RMA number does not guarantee final disposition. All returns are subject to inspection.


All returned merchandise must be in original factory condition, including all packaging materials, inserts and manuals, warranty cards (not filled out), and accessories. Please do not tape or write anything on the item or packaging. Antonline will charge you for replacement of damaged, altered, missing, written-on, or taped-on contents or cartons. antonline reserves the right to refuse any such returns.


Return Procedures


Pack the products into a shipping box with plenty of packing material, and tape securely. Write the RMA number issued by customer service clearly on the shipping label as instructed. Any merchandise returned to Antonline without prior authorization will be refused. Please ship your parcel back to Antonline freight prepaid. Antonline suggests that you use UPS Ground Service (Insured). Sorry, Antonline cannot accept COD or freight-collect shipments. No goods will be accepted for exchange or return without authorization.


Still Have Questions? Contact Customer Service at support@antonline.com.

Did you think it was over about here? So did I. Unfortunately it goes on, and on.



Warranty Services


Some items are sold with an ANTOnline warranty. The warranty term is from 30 days to 1 year, and is specifically listed for each product.


Many Atlanta Network Technology products are shipped with a "Void if Removed" sticker. Breaking or otherwise tampering with this quality seal will render wholly null and void ANT's warranty of this unit and any right you may have to warranty service.


All warranty services must be approved by Atlanta Network Technologies Customer Relations at support@antonline.com, prior to servicing.


Before returning any products for warranty service, please contact ANT Customer Service Department for a Warranty Service Authorization.


Returned product must have a Return Materials Authorization (RMA) number written on the shipping label.


In order to expedite warranty service, please have the following information on hand when requesting an RMA number: Customer number, invoice number, serial number, and reason for service.


In order to be eligible for warranty service, items must be 100% complete including all original manufacturer boxes with the UPC code and packing materials, all manuals, blank warranty cards, accessories and any other documentation included with the original shipment. RMA approval is contingent upon, among other things, the products being 100% complete, and returned in original packaging.


Customer is responsible for shipping charges to Atlanta Network Technologies's distribution center for all products being shipped for warranty service. Repaired products will be shipped by Atlanta Network Technologies to Customer, at Atlanta Network Technologies's expense, using FedEx Ground shipping.


Customer is responsible for all risk of loss and damage to products being shipped for warranty service. Please fully insure return shipment in case of loss or damage. Please use a carrier that is able to provide you with proof of delivery such as UPS, Federal Express or Airborne Express. This is for your protection as well as to ensure quick action on your serviced product.


Server & PC Dead On Arrival (DOA) Policy


An Atlanta Network Technologies product is considered DOA if it shows symptoms of a hardware failure preventing basic operability, upon its first use. If you discover that your product may be DOA please contact support@antonline.com, prior to any other action. This policy and any type of warranty, express or implied, will be nullified if the product is modified, opened, repaired or tampered with in any fashion without authorization from an Atlanta Network Technologies support person and authorization code. All DOA notifications must be filed with Atlanta Network Technologies within 30 days of the sale date.


This DOA policy only applies to Atlanta Network Technologies hardware products currently offered. As new products are offered Atlanta Network Technologies reserves the right to determine whether or not this policy applies.


Atlanta Network Technologies reserves the right to test returned DOA product. If the condition of the product is misrepresented by the customer, Atlanta Network Technologies may pursue imposing a fee, for wrongful return, of $500 to the customer.


Atlanta Network Technologies support team will determine if the product is DOA, and if the product is determined to be DOA, we will offer you the following options:


Replacement: The same product that was ordered will be shipped to you and a support representative will contact you within 72 hours of your contact with the replacement product delivery time, and the process to return the DOA product.


Service: You will receive a product repair authorization number; however, once serviced the product is no longer eligible for replacement. Product must be deemed DOA by Atlanta Network Technologies technical support within 30 days of the sale date in order to receive a replacement unit.


Server & PC Return Privileges & Process


Failure to return a product or notify ANTOnline.com of your intention to return within 3 business days of receipt will be deemed to be an acceptance of the product.


All returns must be approved by Atlanta Network Technologies Customer Relations at support@antonline.com, prior to return. Products that have been opened are not eligible for return.


All custom built or speciality servers, computers, laptops or electronic computer equipment is not available for return, but is available for DOA service. This includes but is not limited to the IBM, Hewlett Packard/Compaq, SuperMicro computer brands.


Refurbished merchandise is only available for replacement under DOA guarantee.


We reserve the right to notify customers and cancel the sale for any reason. We shall not be held liable for any such cancellation and/or closure.


Before returning any products, please contact ANT Customer Service Department for a Return Merchandise Authorization number (RMA). All returns are subject to a 15% restocking fee and associated shipping costs.


Returns and adjustments to methods of payment may take 10-14 business days after the return is authorized. Returned product must have a Return Materials Authorization (RMA) number written on the shipping label.


Return all products 100% complete including all original manufacturer boxes with the UPC code and packing materials, all manuals, blank warranty cards, accessories and any other documentation included with the original shipment. RMA approval is contingent upon, among other things, the products being 100% complete.


Customer is responsible for shipping charges to Atlanta Network Technologies's distribution center for all products being shipped for return, exchange or replacement. Products exchanged or replaced will be shipped by Atlanta Network Technologies to Customer, at Atlanta Network Technologies's expense, using the same shipping method as was used by Customer to ship the original products back to Atlanta Network Technologies.


Customer is responsible for all risk of loss and damage to products being shipped for return, exchange or replacement. Please fully insure return shipment in case of loss or damage. Please use a carrier that is able to provide you with proof of delivery such as UPS, Federal Express or Airborne Express. This is for your protection as well as to ensure quick action on your return.


IMPORTANT NOTES


All returns must be approved by Customer Support at support@antonline.com prior to return. Returned product must have a valid ANT RMA number written on the shipping label. Return shipments without valid ANT RMA numbers will be rejected. Customer is responsible for return shipping charges to Antonline's distribution center. Customer is responsible for all risk of loss and damage to products being shipped for return. Fully insure return shipment in case of loss or damage. Return eligibility is for single purchase of product only. Wholesale or bulk purchases (5 or more items of the same UPC number) are not eligible for return.



Maybe they should be running the US Treasury!

Friday, January 2, 2009

It's now safe to move about in your seat, we hope you had a nice bowel movement before you entered this plane.




I hate traveling.

No, I don't hate all forms of travel, just flying.

I've been more comfortable riding a chicken bus in Mexico than having to deal with all the hassle of getting from point a to point B via the friendly skys. Remember to travel with only one bag and be aware of the TSA's war on moisture.

We just came back from a buying trip in Las Vegas (lost wages) Nevada. Five days, staying at a nice casino on the strip that was supposed to have a shuttle bus leaving every half hour to the show. Unfortunately they canceled that particular stop about 5 weeks after we made our reservations and a week before the show. It's not that I'm that cheap but it's just another inconvenience to put up with.

That particular change of events started me to preface every public announcement no matter where I hear one to add "For your Inconvenience...." . As an example: (For your Inconvenience) Your luggage can be claimed at carousel number 2. Number 2 is the one that is the furthest one away from anywhere you are currently standing.

When you do that, most public announcements will now fill in the sentence leaving you with a certain joy in your heart that you now have heard the truth. (This also works with most political advertisements too.)

Which leads me to my solution to those damn carousels and the way passengers stand so close to the edge of the damn thing to keep anyone else from seeing their bag.

The bags themselves are dumb. Just like mine (Hey, don't go there.) , black, wheeled and all roughly the same size.


It's real tough for me to see it go by as I'm not that tall and definitely can't see over the A's heads and I'll be dammed if I'm going to crawl under their legs.

What's ironic is that I'm not one of them. One who has to immediately have his bag no matter what. In fact, when I finally get off the plane (deplane?) and follow the signs to baggage claim, I find the stupid carousel (Number 2) where my bag is supposed to show up, then go outside and have a smoke while I'm hoping the rif-raf have gotten all their bags are are gone.

But they're not! They're never gone when I get back, they're still crowding around the moving turntable.

My bag was probably the first off and had done the Daytona 500 by now.
So.... I took my basic bag


Added a little vinyl lettering. (in safety yellow)




And now this is going to be fun. All those Type A's are now going to see my bag go around dozens of times and wonder why theirs didn't get such good treatment.

UPDATE:

The suitcase has worked fine and has seen a lot of travel but..... leave it to New Orleans.

When I arrived at my home airport, I grabbed my bag and was greeted with...


Add Image

Welcome, and why are you here?

I'm sure you have better things to do.